In the final chapter, Cleo and Adriana’s saga comes to a close with the completion of the golf cart DUI workbook & the beginning of a new era for the pair.

“The good thing, Cleo thought, about dating a man who doesn’t drink is that I wake up fresh. Put that in my workbook, nerds! It’s Saturday, but if I’d spent the night with him on a Wednesday, I would’ve been able to go to work, easily. This is sustainable or, at least, will be once I finish the book. I can probably knock out two “days” of the book today. But upon arriving home, Cleo found that Adriana had beaten her to the book.”

In this chapter, Cleo & Adriana take on broken promises, golf cart DUIs, & Tinder harems.

“Cleo’s first activity was to list historical figures who she felt lived below and above 500. As she scrawled “Dick Cheney, Antonin Scalia, Ted Cruz” in her “Below 500” column, she chuckled. That would make a good Fuck, Marry, Kill, she thought. And then it dawned on her: some cop in South Carolina was going to have to approve all her answers. Her laughter faded as it dawned on her: this workbook was going to blow fields of dick.”

Cleo spent every moment she wasn’t at work in Adriana’s air-conditioned room. The two girls sat for hours, backs against a propped up mound of pillows, phones plugged into outlets on either side of the bed. In sync, they swiped left, they swiped right, they swiped left again…